It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
