What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
