What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
this just has baby written all over it
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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