But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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