the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Green mimosas i think yes
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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