omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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