Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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