okay pat passed out under dana's car
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
