okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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