i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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