the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
did i walk over a car last night?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
