I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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