Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I wish you could order shots online.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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