Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
