; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
