if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
