He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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