She said her name was "party"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
is it fun? or sober?
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