I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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