I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't deserve a penis
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
