What did we do last night that was yellow?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
