If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
