weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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