I bet he comes in French.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
