I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The Olympian is in my bed
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
