now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
