I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
