a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize