I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Randomize
