Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
