I am puke
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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