you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
