Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
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