I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize