I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
