She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
