dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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