I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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