i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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