if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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