i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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