His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
