Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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