new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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