Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
