You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
