You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
