Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
