Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
