I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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