Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
