why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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