its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
