I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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