Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
