New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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