my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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