The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
