So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
