Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
operation harelip BJ is a go
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
